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“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives”: Insights into the MomTok drama

From secrets to lemonade to swingers, Hulu's new show, “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” is packed with a list of scandals longer than its stars' hair extensions.

The series is powered by the Mormon women behind #MomTok, a series of dance-themed TikTok videos. These Utah mothers of young children are so social media savvy that all eight of them make enough money to support their families from the videos they describe as “silly.”

The eight-part series is a rollercoaster of drama. Think Real Housewives-style fights, girls' getaways and plastic surgery…but with the added intensity of religious traditions and scrutiny.

In a way, these women are upholding decades-old social norms by caring for their husbands, children and homes, while also stepping out of their domestic sphere and into the social media spotlight, where they accept both praise and accountability for their actions.

TODAY.com spoke with each of the moms featured on the show via video chat to learn more about their individual perspectives.

What is #MomTok anyway?

In January 2022, four social media influencers from Utah who had been creating similar content met online and decided to create videos together. They called this content “#MomTok.”

Taylor Frankie Paul, a 30-year-old mother of three, says: “It all started with me just making funny videos and inviting girls to join. And then the group just kept getting bigger.”

The three women who co-founded #MomTok with Paul are Whitney Leavitt (a 31-year-old mother who is currently pregnant with her third child), Mayci Neeley (a 29-year-old mother of two on an IVF journey), and Mikayla Matthews (24-year-old mother of three who had her first child at 17).

Paul says the group once consisted of 25 women. They came and went depending on their interests, availability and childcare. Because of this, “I didn't speak to many of them personally,” she says. “We had to do business and then leave.”

However, since fewer women are now involved, the group of mothers has grown much closer together.

“At first, I don't know if #MomTok stood for anything. I think we're all starting to get it,” Neeley says. “Now we're changing the cultural norms in the church. We're showing women that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. For example, they can have a career in social media and be a mother at the same time. They can do both.”

What happened in the #MomTok sex scandal?

On May 20, 2022, Paul posted a surprising TikTok video with the caption, “In my 20s, I got divorced, started therapy, and lived alone with two young children for the first time in my life.” She captioned a follow-up video posted three days later, “My whole life is falling apart.”

Then came the livestream that blew up #MomTok.

In this video, Paul confessed that he had deviated from the agreement to “soft swing” in their marriage.

Last week, she defined “soft swinging” to Extra as “doing anything except going all out and changing partners completely.”

In her livestream, Paul said several other members of #MomTok were involved: “Nobody is innocent. Everyone has been with pretty much everyone.”

Eventually, Paul left her then-husband Tate Paul, who appears in several of her #MomTok videos, for the man she had gone “too far” with, Dakota Mortensen.

The relationship got off to a rocky start and got even rockier when Taylor Frankie Paul was arrested in February 2023. According to NBC News, she was charged with three misdemeanors: assault, property damage and domestic violence in the presence of a child. Bodycam footage of the arrest can be seen on “Secret Lives.”

As detailed in the series, Paul and Mortensen continued their relationship and she eventually became pregnant twice. The first was an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in a miscarriage. Eventually, the couple had their first child together, a baby boy named Ever, in March 2024.

Paul and Mortensen are still together today.

“Things have gotten a lot better,” Paul tells TODAY.com. “We're obviously a long way from the end goal because we come with so much baggage, and now that we're working in television, that brings a lot with it. We do couples therapy and coaching, so they help us communicate.”

There appears to be no animosity between Mortensen and Paul's first husband.

“Dakota and my husband – Whoa! Ex-Husband!” Paul corrects himself with a laugh. “They are like buddies. And I am friends with his partner.” Her ex is “the father of my children,” she emphasizes. “So he will always be an important figure in her life and mine. I see him weekly and speak to him daily.”

If you're hoping “Secret Lives” will reveal the other members of the soft swinger crew, don't hold your breath. The series does discuss the scandal, but doesn't name names… and that's mostly because there's so much additional drama to parse through.

What else can we expect from “Secret Lives”?

There is not enough space in this article to describe all the drama of the series in detail. In fact, even a quick look at the women’s TikToks still shows more unpack, including the fact that Matthews' husband lost his job last week because he “made the wrong decision” to “allow” his wife to appear on the show.

Here are some of the highlights of the show:

  • Popular #MomToker Whitney Leavitt describes issues surrounding her husband's Tinder use and the controversial dance video she filmed while her newborn was in the hospital with RSV.
  • #MomTok newbie Jen Affleck, who only joined the group when Hulu picked up the cast for the show, has a major Mormon morality dispute over a Chippendales performance in Las Vegas. Her husband Zac Affleck, who happens to be a cousin of Ben and Casey Affleck, doesn't approve of his wife watching the show.
  • At the end of the series, one question remains unanswered: Did Mortensen cheat on Paul at the beginning of their relationship with a woman named “Jenna”?

Can Neeley, who calls Jenna in the last two minutes of the show's finale to discuss this very question, give us a clue as to what happened there?

She laughs: “You have to pray that there is a second season so we can finish this conversation and see what really happened!”

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