The “Wave of Death”: Please stop being nice by yielding right of way when you have right of way

I recently moved to the big city and I love it. But it has also brought a particular issue into focus for me that has caused me endless frustration and anger. It's simple: I can't stand it when people yield the right of way when they have the right of way. I don't care if you think you're being nice. This has to stop now.

Long ago, traffic engineers and administrators developed simple rules for assigning right of way. Combined with turn signals, these rules allowed drivers to anticipate traffic flow and interact safely with other vehicles. The rules established an understanding of who could go first and when. This was and is clearly a good thing. It allows traffic to flow and minimizes the number of accidents on the road.

Unfortunately, these rules are not strictly enforced. Some people just ignore them completely, so we give them a wide berth. But you know what's just as bad? People unexpectedly yielding the right of way because they're being nice. This is dangerous, undesirable and must stop. We'll talk about pedestrians, we'll talk about traffic laws and we'll report on the horror of the “death wave” as some call it.

Don't be like that.

Be sure

As I mentioned above, this has become a daily problem for me since moving downtown. Often I'll be walking along the sidewalk and need to cross a street. I like to wait a few seconds for the cars to happily drive through before I cross the street. After all, they have the right of way! And yet maybe half the time they slam on the brakes, stop and wave me on! It can be frustrating.

I had already chosen a completely safe time for the crossing –after they had passed because they had the right of way. By stopping, they are messing everything up. I have to check the area again to make sure there is no other traffic that could hit me. Then I have to scurry on to avoid this vehicle, which is now waiting for me although that was not planned from the start! That is really annoying.

I understand. They like to make way for pedestrians. But that's the point. They have their place in traffic, just like you. By giving up your space unnecessarily, you force them to give up theirs. Suddenly, no one in the intersection can predict what the others will do. That's the danger! You should always exercise due caution when driving and not just expect others to make way for you – but completely ignoring your own right of way is not helpful.

The worst example happened to me recently. I was waiting to cross a side street when an oncoming car stopped to let me cross, even though it had the right of way. They waited expectantly for me to cross. Meanwhile, another vehicle tried to turn on the side street, expecting that they would have the right of way. After all, if everyone followed the rules, I wouldn't cross just because another car was coming the other way.

In some jurisdictions – such as California or Queensland in Australia – drivers must yield to pedestrians at the narrow point of a T-junction.

I ended up making the stupid decision to cross the street and was almost hit by the turning car. I should have ignored the car waiting for me and left it as the only wayward idiot in the situation. Not pictured in this diagram is my partner, who was rightfully angry at me for making such a stupid decision. I felt bad. I know better!

Wave of Death

This happens in all sorts of other situations too. Have you ever tried to turn your car across a multi-lane road when someone on that multi-lane road stops to wave you through a gap? They're giving up their right of way to be nice, but they're putting you in a difficult situation. You can't see the traffic in the other lane, and if you go through, you risk getting into a bad accident. This is called a “death wave” and can have brutal consequences. I'm not going to show you videos of actual accidents. They do exist, but it's wise to watch the videos with caution. In any case, there are plenty of examples of near misses out there. [Ed Note: There’s a bit of cursing in the videos below; we don’t condone cursing out folks just trying to be nice (there are other ways), but this is a matter of public safety, and if that’s how these folks need to vent their frustrations, so be it. -DT].

Then there are the four way stops. These can be confusing, but ultimately someone must go first. If you have already stopped and are about to go and you see someone else coming towards you and slowing down? Then you can go! He must stop and give way to the traffic already in the intersection. If you wait for him, he will be confused because he is waiting for you. This creates the risk that you will both go at the same time and there will be a collision if he gives up.

Of course, there is no accountability for fools. Like this Cadillac driver who doesn't understand that you have to keep to the right and give way to traffic that is already in the intersection – not cool

If you're wondering why this is bad, there is real precedent on this. As attorney Anthony Carbone reports, it's the 1998 court case Thorne v. Miller. Here's a summary of the case, according to the linked court document:

The accident occurred on Route 530, a four-lane road that runs east-west with two lanes in each direction. Before the accident, defendant Lori Miller was waiting to turn left out of a parking space adjacent to the westbound lanes. She wanted to travel east on Route 530 and had to cross the westbound lanes to do so. Traffic was congested. Donald Cook was driving in the slow westbound lane (the outside lane) and stopped just before the parking space that Miller had to exit. Cook waved Miller off twice so that she could see that she could exit the parking space in front of his vehicle. Miller reacted and as she crossed the westbound lanes, she struck a car traveling in the westbound express lane (the inside lane). That car was driven by Rita St. George, a plaintiff, and the impact caused St. George to strike a vehicle driven by Joseph Thorne, another plaintiff in the case. Miller sued Cook as a third party defendant and St. George has filed a direct suit against him.

Cook, who was not involved in the accident except for his waving gesture, filed a motion for summary judgment on the grounds that he owed no Duty to Miller.

Both St. George and Miller sued Cook, arguing that his waving caused the accident. The court agreed that the waving may have contributed to the accident, and found that Cook could have taken the time to assess the flow of traffic before waving. The court also found that a waving driver “assumes a duty [of care]' in such a situation. The court ruling does not directly determine who is to blame among the drivers involved in the accident, but it does note that waving at another driver is not without liability risk.

YSK, the “death wave” helps no one and is dangerous.
byu/molivergo inYouShouldKnow

I'm not the only one who is upset about this!

In context

I contacted the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety about the “death wave.” Joe Young, director of media relations, found that there is little to no official research on the subject. It seems that I care much more about this issue than the state transportation authorities or even the insurance companies themselves.

However, that does not mean that he did not have any helpful tips:

“Communication between road users is common and can be helpful in some situations, such as when right of way is unclear… However, I think most of us have encountered a situation where someone yields the right of way instead of turning. This can cause a problem if all drivers and other road users are not on the same page.”

Ultimately, however, you need to focus on doing the right thing yourself, explains Joe:

“I think in this scenario it is important to rely on common sense, not to rush and to take normal precautions such as giving way to all other road users nearby, including pedestrians. While I am sure they mean well, it is unlikely that the driver waving you through has considered every scenario, so it is very important to make sure it is safe to proceed before you do so.”

If you're someone who does this, I understand. You're a nice person! And sometimes it's nice to be nice. You're trying to help other drivers or pedestrians, and that's really nice. But the reality is that you're creating unnecessary chaos in the flow of traffic. That's risky and can hurt people. The “death wave” is called that for a reason. People can get seriously hurt in these situations, and it's just not worth it.

I promise you, you are not being selfish. If you have the right of way, use it. Drive carefully, of course, but don't wave anyone through when it's not your turn.

Drive carefully out there.

Image credits: Lewin Day, Austlii.edu.au via screenshot, Reddit via screenshot, Clueless Drivers of Maryland via YouTube screenshot