Dear Annie: After the death of her husband, it seems impossible to escape the spiral of fear

Dear Annie, My husband passed away in April after suffering from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease for years. I cared for him for over a year and looked after him in hospice. It was very hard for me. Since his death, I have felt lost, depressed and suffering from great anxiety.

I don't have much support because all my family members have passed away. I stay at home and grieve terribly. I have suffered from depression for many years. Now the depression and anxiety are overwhelming me. I have not managed to take my medication properly, which is very difficult to say the least.

I want a job so I can get out of the house and meet people, but I stress out about the job search every time I think about it. I'm very insecure and have struggled with the interview questions when I approached someone.

I just want to live a somewhat normal life again. My husband has always been there for me when I've been going through difficult times and now of course he's not. I've never had this kind of anxiety and it's getting worse. It used to be just nervousness. Any suggestions? – Grieving Widow

Dear grieving widow, I am so sorry for your loss. You have every right to be sad and anxious. You just lost your partner and best friend. It will not help to lecture yourself harshly about your insecurities. Instead, praise yourself for what a wonderful wife you have been to your husband. It is very important that you take the right medication and have the right therapist to support you during this difficult transitional period in your life. Take each day at a time.

Once you get the right treatment for your anxiety and depression, you can join a grief support group where you will feel better. In time, you have a good chance of finding a job that will help you “get back to a somewhat normal life.” But we must learn to walk before we can run.