Zoë Foster Blake: 'I would fight Moo Deng.' She would win' | Books

What is the oldest thing you own and why do you still have it?

I have a pair of little padded things that you wear around your ankles that my father brought back from India when I was about three years old. They have little bells on them – I think they're for dancing. I loved them, and I still have them – I don't really have anything from my childhood. I was actually supposed to give it to my daughter; it's probably about time.

I also have a stuffed animal from my childhood, Pearl, my stuffed wombat. We had a real wombat named Pearl who was a rescue animal because his mother was killed by a car. I grew up in the country, so one evening when we were kids my mother brought home this baby wombat and we looked after her. She was free to move, but she remained. But then she became a problem because she was so fat and so tall. She sat at the door and we couldn't get in or out. So mom and dad took her to a zoo.

It wasn't until my late teens that I said to a friend, “Oh, we used to have wombat, but Mom took her to the zoo,” and he said, “Just like a dog goes to a farm?” I thought, “Oh my God! I've believed that lie all my life!” So I called mom but she said, “She was actually at the zoo!” She went to Taronga. You can call her!” Well, thank God – she actually had this wonderful life where she was adored at the zoo.

What was your scariest encounter with a celebrity?

I think I probably had about 10 saves because of my husband [Hamish Blake] won't let me talk to them. He always says, “Don’t ruin their dinner!” When we lived in New York, you saw everyone there. One of them was Mike Myers – Wayne's World was my go-to gospel when I was a teenager, and he would just sit there and eat dinner and drink. It took all my strength not to embarrass myself and ruin his night. But my husband taught me not to do that. He always says, “This is for you.” What about them? If you really love her, you leave her alone.”

If you had to fight a famous person, who would it be, how would you fight them and who would win?

Moo Deng. She would probably bite me and she would win. I would want some protection, I would want some shin guards. And maybe a hose. I would let her win.

What is your most controversial pop culture opinion?

Maybe my controversial opinion is that I'm trying not to be too controversial. My son is part of Generation Alpha and it makes me feel pretty old because he speaks a different language most of the time. But it actually made me feel like I really wasn't judging because it reminded me, “Oh man, I was talking shit when I was that age too.” As a parent, it's not your job to get it, but you should leave them their world. That's why I try not to judge other people's decisions.

But also: skinny jeans will always come back, whether they should or not. But you know what? Wear the jeans you want.

What's the strangest thing you've ever done for love?

Get into cycling. I would never have thought that if my husband wasn't a cyclist. It gave me great pleasure to pester him about it for a long time. But then we started going on family cycling holidays and I loved them!

It's not that we wear Lycra or go super fast – we're just a family out in nature. But I really think I could be a cyclist now.

What is your biggest beauty tip?

The phrase that generally sticks is, “Your face stops at your breasts.” Many people assume this [gestures at her face] it is, but for the rest of your life, that [gestures at her neck and décolletage] will also be on display. That's why I encourage everyone to take away all their skin care. Maybe not all the super expensive serums, but definitely your exfoliants, your SPF, your moisturizers. Face to breasts.

What is the ideal length of men's shorts?

I really think it depends on the guy. If you're a very cool person who's very stylish and wears Bermuda shorts with a little loafer, I love that. You're a guy who looks great in shorty shorts, get them out. I think more important than the shorts are the socks and the shoe. Someone I know and live with – Hamish – wears black socks and a white shoe or a white sock and a black shoe. My whole thing with my family is teaching them what color goes with what color. Don't worry about the shorts. It depends on what you wear below!

If you had to appear on a reality TV show tomorrow, what would it be?

Oh, I know the ones where that wouldn't be the case. Definitely not Survivor or Alone. I love seeing her, but I can't be hungry and tired, that would completely destroy my reputation. I want to be a judge on a cake baking show.

Your husband is known for his annual tradition of drinking whiskey and filming himself baking ambitious birthday cakes for your children. Do they actually taste good?

Well, the cake itself is beautiful because a bakery makes it – we buy these huge slices of cake so it's the same every time: a chocolate cake with lots of butter frosting and fondant frosting on top. So it doesn't look that tasty, but once you slice it and it's no longer in the shape of a strange animal, it's completely edible.

I'm always not terribly impressed with him, but since it's midnight and he's a little drunk and stressed, I was never supposed to help. I'm shit at this stuff anyway, I wouldn't be any help. But every year I think, “This is it! Icarus here will never make it!” And in the morning I get up and there it is on the table.

Do you have a party trick?

I have a trick for parties – I call it the introvert’s 40-minute power. It's about etiquette. They come on time, but not too early and not too late. You always bring something, even if the host says not to bring anything – a small bouquet of flowers, a nice candle, a good loaf of bread. Make sure everyone sees you and that you see them. Help the host in a way that will be memorable. And then the French finish. I'm not saying goodbye. This can last twice as long as the actual party.