“Very reserved, very mindful” – are we missing the joke of this viral trend?

If the word “brat” describes our wild and unabashedly chaotic summers, then it is exemplary manners, politeness and adherence to rules that will carry us into fall.

Over the past few weeks, thousands of videos have popped up on TikTok showing us how to refine our etiquette, all because of the “very low key, very mindful” trend.

The satirical idea was originally a mockery of stereotypical ideas of femininity, but has now developed a life of its own.

While half of internet users use the term ironically, others are concerned that the trend is just another way to set unrealistic standards for women.

So is anyone actually trying to be subtle, or is this just a huge inside joke that's been blown out of proportion?

The seemingly harmless catchphrase was coined by content creator Jools Lebron, who posted a TikTok earlier this month of her understated work outfit and subtle makeup.

“See how I do my makeup for work? Very subtle, very attentive,” she told her millions of followers.

“A lot of you girls go to job interviews looking like Marge Simpson, and you go to work looking like Patty and Selma. Not modest.”

She also reminds us that when she dresses for the office, her blouse “just lets out a little bit of chichi, not my cho-cho,” adding, “You should never come to work with a green crease.”

After her videos made her famous overnight, the internet sensation quit her job as a treasurer, appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and told her fans that she was now able to finance her gender reassignment surgery.

Not only content creators and celebrities have jumped on the trend, but even companies like NASA have followed the bandwagon.

“See what the Earth looks like in space? It's very reserved, very cautious. The Earth looks very cute in the solar system.” the space agency posted on X.

LeBron has stated that her motto is “obviously a joke” and that she is not trying to promote a Bridgerton-like lifestyle for women, even though the definition of demure means being “reserved, modest and shy.”

Most content creators poke fun at this trend by making subtle jokes about how it can be understated and yet totally extravagant at the same time.

For example, RuPaul explains how he reads a book in a considerate way, while Penn Badgley, who plays Joe Goldberg in the Netflix series “You,” posted a TikTok saying, “I've been playing a romantic icon for five seasons and I'm very humble and thoughtful.”

Restraint has also found its way into our fashion – content creator Ambika Dhir says that “restraint and mindfulness in clothing is a matter of well-crafted, understated luxury, chic outfits and a strong personal style that draws attention without being overbearing”.

Social media strategist Isa Lavahun also says she interprets LeBron's understated hit as “the embodiment of subtle self-love – knowing that no other opinion matters as long as you behave gracefully and sensitively.”

But not everyone sees it that way.

One TikToker, Sabrina Thulander, says she “always saw morality as something negative, like what a man in the Victorian era expected from his wife. To me, it all feels very much like a traditional wife.”

But some women are joining the trend of traditional wives, which is becoming increasingly popular due to the artistic portrayal of reserved and mindful women in series such as “Bridgerton” and “Downtown Abbey”.

Author Gershom Mabaquiao explains that the trend began as a matter of “the frivolity of self-expression,” but that it has now gone beyond social media and permeated society, meaning it is interpreted “very literally.”

The fact that some people write about restraint, cuteness and mindfulness in serious posts shows “how nuances get lost when messages travel from the context-strong in-groups to the context-weak outgroups,” he says.

“The sarcasm and the deliberate 'double standard' of the joke have been lost.”

According to Nöel Wolf, a cultural and language expert, the word “humble” dates back to the 17th century and was commonly used in the 19th century to describe modest and reserved young women.

The recontextualization of the word now shows “how old language can come to life again in the hands of younger generations.”

With TikTok trends coming and going at an ever-increasing rate, it's hard to predict what word or phrase will be the next big trend.

A former English teacher and current content creator named ExemplaryPotato shares new words on the platform every week.

In response to “demure,” he shared a video explaining the meaning of “vituperative,” an antonym of “demure.”

Wolf says the terms Generation Z has used this year are unexpected and obscure, such as “raw dogging,” “rizz,” and “bed rotting.”

He added that “moral” is not the “only archaic word making a comeback this year,” as “Inside Out 2” brought “ennui” back into fashion, while Taylor Swift's “Tortured Poets Department” made the word “tryst” popular again.

“Online trends tend to have a yo-yo effect: we've gone from the clean girl aesthetic to Brat Summer's rejection of that and now to 'modest.' So there's a good chance that the next trend, whatever it may be, will be anything but modest.”