Viral San Diego Tradwife Reveals ‘Nothing Fake’ in Extreme Videos (Exclusive)

• Alexia Delarosa has gained over 1 million followers across TikTok and Instagram with her viral videos making food from scratch and showing her life as a stay-at-home mom
• Her over-the-top homemaking routine has prompted some viewers to question whether or not Delarosa’s content is to be taken seriously, but she confirms to PEOPLE that it’s all real
• The influencer spoke to PEOPLE about how she fits into the controversial “tradwife” trend and how she uses humor to optimize engagement

Watch any one of Alexia Delarosa’s videos, and you’ll be transfixed.

The content creator takes homemaking to a mesmerizing extreme. She bakes cereal from scratch, harvests honey from live bees and has even made her own paper, simply because her two sons wanted to color. Delarosa is a silhouette of the perfect housewife, often securing her high ponytail with a bow and flouncing about her kitchen in frocks topped with puffed sleeves and ornate collars.

She wears a smile so serene she might as well be a Disney princess, and in fact, some viewers think her content is about as real as a fairy tale.

“Are we serious or this a joke?” reads one comment on a baking Reel from July. Delarosa’s video making a homemade banana split in June prompted another user to write, “This might be the most elaborate troll account on instagram.”

Many identify Delarosa’s online persona as a riff on the controversial “tradwife” lifestyle, a trend that has recently flooded social media. Tradwives — many of whom are popular influencers — document their lives as stay-at-home mothers, most of whom — like 31-year-old Delarosa — homeschool their children and make food from scratch. The viral wave has stirred up a conversation about the ethics of promoting outdated gender roles, and many wonder whether or not Delarosa is actually part of the tradwife community.

Delarosa tells PEOPLE that she’s not hiding anything in her videos. She has over 1 million followers across major social media platforms, and she claims that what they see in videos is an authentic slice of her life.

“If I share a very normal day-in-the-life … all that is real. There’s nothing that’s fake about my content. If I make something, I really did make that,” she says.

And yes, she does make food from scratch “for fun, but also for health reasons,” Delarosa adds. “I do like to feed my kids well, and I’m very health conscious and very conscious of what I put into their bodies.”

That said, Delarosa admits she adds a comic flair to many of her voiceovers. For example, she doesn’t actually say her sons Archie, 4, and Arlo, 2, are “52 and 31 months old,” as heard in her recent video about making lattice pie crusts. But since she’s already anticipating criticism over her life as a dedicated homemaker, the creator prefers to hit back at her critics by playing up the stereotype.

“I know that there’s people that are going to be like, ‘Oh, these stay-at-home moms are so ridiculous.’ I know that there’s people out there that are going to comment stuff like that,” she tells PEOPLE. “I suppose I’ve had a hard time calling it satire because it is my real life, and it is authentic … I know that this seems so ridiculous and over-the-top, and so I feed into that aspect of it.”

She complements her sense of humor with some business-savvy insight. Delarosa knows there are plenty of influencers who do what she does, and she’s seen how easily they can blend together.

“So many people can make bread online and show us making bread, and that’s cool, we’ve all seen it,” she says. “Let me acknowledge the negative comments that I’m getting about how silly this is and poke fun at that a little bit, but also be entertaining and funny and set myself apart from other content creators that are also doing the same thing.”

She continues, “A big part of why I’ve had so much success in the last year is the humor parts of it. So I like to add that in every chance that I get.”

Her comment sections are split between those who can spot the jokes and laugh along and those who reject her content all together. To Delarosa, they’re just two sides of the same coin — literally.

“The more comments and engagement I get, whether people are saying negative things or not, it’s still boosting the videos,” says Delarosa, who has been able to generate an income from monetizing her videos and posting sponsored content. “I really come for the comment section. So I feel like when I’m putting out a video, I have to have that in mind. How can I make the comment section interesting? What can I give people? I’m trying to give people material to feed off of and contribute to.”

People have suggested the San Diego mom is making fun of other viral homemakers, like model and influencer Nara Smith, who skyrocketed to fame showing how she prepares elaborate from-scratch meals for her husband and children. However Delarosa insists her “cheeky” exaggerations aren’t intended to mock anyone, including the online community of tradwives.

“That’s the thing that I like to clarify. I’m not poking fun at anyone. I’m not doing a parody of anyone. This has always been my style of content,” she maintains. “If I’m poking fun at anything, I’m poking fun at myself.”

Delarosa isn’t actively separating herself from the tradwife community. She tells PEOPLE she has friends who live the traditional lifestyle, and while she doesn’t identify with every aspect of the movement, she doesn’t reject the label.

“When people call me a tradwife, I don’t really correct them and I’m not quick to defend myself in any way,” she says. “I get it. You see a woman in the kitchen with babies. She’s a stay-at-home-mom and homeschooling and doing all those things. It looks like that. But there are some aspects of it that I don’t really identify with.”

Delarosa says one key difference between herself and more common tradwives is their relationships with their husbands. Delarosa’s husband, Matt, is their family’s breadwinner as a local coffee shop owner, but she says they’re still “very much equal” in their partnership.

Describing what she’s observed of typical tradwife household dynamics, she says, “The role of the wife is to be very submissive to the husband: I have to ask my husband for permission, I have to ask him for money, and if I want to go out at night or do these things. If he says yes, it’s a yes, if he says no, it’s a no.”

“That’s very much not me,” says Delarosa. “I’ve always been very independent and my husband and I have always been very much equal. I definitely don’t have to ask permission for anything.”

It helps that the TikTok sensation has started generating her own cashflow from social media, though that hasn’t disturbed how she and her husband view their shared assets. Delarosa mainly views her social media pay as “extra money” that’s there “if we need it.” She’s mostly just happy she doesn’t have to ask her husband for cash anymore, something she used to dread.

“My husband and I, our roles haven’t changed at all. It hasn’t been like, ‘Oh, now that I am making an income, let’s shift financial responsibility.’ That hasn’t happened at all,” she says. “We still live the same life that we did two years ago. We have this house and my husband has always paid the bills.”

Despite her independent mindset, Delarosa doesn’t mind sharing an audience with other online tradwives since there are so many commonalities between her world and theirs.

“We can totally bond over the bread-making and having chickens in the backyard and having babies and being a stay-at-home mom, but also have these differences. And that’s okay, having differences between each other doesn’t mean you can’t be friends and find things that you enjoy,” she says.

She tells PEOPLE about her appreciation for one of her friends — whom she describes as “queen tradwife on TikTok and Instagram.”

“She doesn’t have kids yet. She’s just a stay at home wife. She just loves living that life. She doesn’t want to make any money online,” Delarosa explains. “For me to say, ‘Oh, that’s wrong. You should have aspirations to have your own income and do things for yourself,’ I don’t feel like that’s my place.”

That’s not to say Delarosa doesn’t understand why tradwives have received backlash on social media and beyond. The trend has recently entered the mainstream following The Times of London‘s profile of Hannah and Daniel Neeleman, who maintain traditional gender roles at home while running their business, Ballerina Farm. The article sparked a debate between those who appreciate Hannah’s bucolic content and those who knock the lifestyle as a regression in the women’s rights movement. (Hannah has said she doesn’t “necessarily identify” as a “tradwife” herself: “We try so hard to be neutral and be ourselves and people will put a label on everything.”)

For her part, Delarosa sees how tradwives can appear “one-dimensional” and “so intense” about their duty to serve the family. The mom of two notices how some tradwife content comes off as judgmental, as if to say, “If you’re not living this lifestyle, then you’re not living to your full potential. You’re not living your life as you should as a woman,” she tells PEOPLE.

She adds, “I can see how someone that has a full-time job, goes to work 9:00 to 5:00, their kids go to school, and they don’t have anything in common with [tradwives] … can feel very judged, and they’re being attacked for living a different lifestyle.”

And Delarosa has felt the judgment personally, too. Since she is widely considered part of the community, other tradwives have held Delarosa to their same standards and aren’t afraid to criticize her when she falls short. With some of her more playful posts, she’s gotten feedback calling her out for practices that don’t align with traditional values. The content creator recalls a time when she posted an autumn update on her life, but what she considered innocuous didn’t resonate the same way with a tradwife follower.

“I love Halloween, and I shared something on my story about it, something so mild, and this girl messaged me,” Delarosa recalls to PEOPLE. “She was like, ‘I don’t like Halloween, and I didn’t think that you were that kind of person either. You’re not who I thought you were, so I’m going to have to be unfollowing.’ ”

The SoCal parent says it’s hard to tell when she’s falling in line with the lifestyle and when she may unintentionally “trigger somebody,” another reason it’s hard for her to fully fit in with the trad-world.

“It’s like they’ve put a personality on me. They think that I’m one way, and if I share something that doesn’t totally align with their idea of me in their head, then they’ll unfollow me. And they’ll let me know,” she says.

Delarosa is confident in her daily routine, her family and her social media content, but she knows it’s not for everyone. She’s had the full support of her family in her decision to live as a stay-at-home mom, but it’s not as if that’s all she’s ever known. She had a “very modern upbringing,” as she explains. She and her siblings went to public schools, and their parents worked full time.

With that in mind, Delarosa doesn’t want to participate in any trends that shame women into certain roles. She tells PEOPLE that she’s not even sure her content should be viewed as particularly aspirational. She has mixed reactions to those who comment their hopes to be more like her.

“If someone isn’t into baking or cooking, and I’ve inspired them to do that in some way, I love that. But I don’t ever want someone to feel like their life has to look exactly like mine,” she reflects. “I don’t want you to think that this is a mark that you have to hit to be a good mom.”

In the same way viewers should take her more exaggerated, humorous voiceovers with a grain of salt, she hopes other moms will understand her real life isn’t exactly the homemaking fantasy that she portrays it online.

“That’s a video. That is content that I’ve created, and I do make a lot of things from scratch, but I also go out to eat. I’m not in the kitchen for 20 hours a day, making every single thing from scratch,” she says.

Most importantly, Delarosa wants her followers to remember that what makes her happy at home isn’t going to fill everyone else’s cup in the same way. The tradwife trend often pressures women into fitting into one mold, but Delarosa doesn’t subscribe to that same philosophy.

“Everyone is so different, and you have to do what’s best for you and your own family, just because every situation is so different,” she says. “The way I live isn’t going to work for everybody.”