The secret lives of Mormon wives are traced back to the ‘breadwinners’ of their families (exclusive)

They may be MomTokers, but they are MomTokers who make real money.

Speaking to PEOPLE ahead of the release of the new Hulu reality series, The Secret Life of Mormon WivesTikTok influencers talk about whether and how earning more than their partner affects their relationships.

“I came out of a marriage where I was very financially secure and didn't have to worry, so it was more of a creative outlet for me,” Demi Engemann tells PEOPLE. “In my next marriage, I had to sort of step in as the breadwinner while he made deals and tried to make everything work.”

Demi notices that things have changed and her husband is “no longer dependent on” her income from content creation, which gives her the freedom to view it as an “outlet” again.

“I want to continue to be able to take advantage of opportunities when they come and continue to do things for myself and experience things for my life, whether it makes money or is just a passion project.”

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Jessi Ngatikaura says she was already in the business as JZ Styles when she met her husband.

“He knew what he was getting into and I was honest and told him he had to deal with it – my job always comes first. Luckily I have a husband who just puts up with it and supports me,” she says of her husband Jordan Ngatikaura.

“I think there are some relationships within the group that struggle a little more with that because Mormonism is typically very gender-oriented, where the man is the breadwinner and the woman stays home with the kids. So it definitely shook some of our relationships within the group when that happened.”

Jennifer Affleck admits it was an uphill battle for her and her husband, Zac Affleck. “I think it was definitely difficult for me and my husband in the beginning because he was the breadwinner for the first couple of years,” she notes. “And it wasn't that he was making a little money – he was making a lot of money and he also comes from a very wealthy, traditional family. So I think it was very natural for him to be the breadwinner and me to be at home and a stay-at-home mom.”

She continues: “I think when the roles were reversed, it was really hard for him because he just wasn't used to it. And even though he was still in school, he thought, 'Wait a minute, am I adding value to this relationship?'”

Mikayla Matthews points out that this is also a noticeable change for women who were raised with the attitude: “We are mothers, and therefore it is like, 'I only add value if I stay home with my children.'”

“We're all the same and we do different things at different times,” Jennifer notes. “I'm going to be caring for others now, and maybe he will too when he's out of medical school and the roles are reversed. But I think for a long time it wasn't like we were competing with each other, it was more like we were comparing who could do more. Now we see it as we're a team and we just work together, and the roles will look different at different stages of our lives.”

Whitney Leavitt agrees that there are financial ups and downs in her own marriage to husband Conner Leavitt.

“For me personally, it doesn't change anything,” she explains. “At different points in our marriage, one of us handles the finances and one of us doesn't. Conner is the breadwinner and then I am, or then we are together. It just changes. It's not that someone feels less worthy just because they're not the breadwinner.”

Mayci Neeley agrees, but notes that this is not the norm for Mormon culture as a whole.

“I think it doesn't make any difference to me and my husband. I just think it's untraditional for the culture and the church, but it's becoming more normal in society. But I feel like that wasn't the case 30 years ago, so it's different to deal with,” she says.

“I know my parents thought, 'What the hell? This is weird,' but now it's totally normal. My husband is back at work and finding fulfillment in this work, and it works for us. It's a great fit.”

Taylor Frankie Paul is happy to have entered into a relationship where her business and priorities were at the forefront from the start.

“I feel like I was already where I was in my personal life and business life when I met Dakota. So he came into my life knowing that. There were never any roles that I no longer had to fulfill or take on or anything. He also has his own business and I have mine, and since we're not married, the two aren't a good fit yet. I don't feel like it comes up or puts a strain on our relationship.”

The group’s recently single mother, Layla Taylor, spoke about the opportunity that content creation offers her “for [her] babies.”

“I think it was incredible and liberating for me to be able to provide for myself and not have to rely on child support or anything like that. I think that's why a lot of women feel trapped in their marriage because they don't know how to get by financially without their partner. Having that freedom to leave a marriage that I wasn't happy in and just be able to make it on my own was absolutely life-changing. I'm very grateful for that.”

The Secret Life of Mormon Wives is currently streaming on Hulu.