Hayden Panettiere suffered from agoraphobia and quickly gained weight after the sudden death of his brother

On a Sunday in February 2023, everything changed drastically for actress Hayden Panettiere: her younger brother and fellow actor Jansen Panettiere was found dead in his New York apartment. He was only 28 years old.

As the family later announced, he died of cardiomegaly (enlarged heart) combined with complications of the aortic valve.

Now the actress from “Girls United: All or Nothing” speaks for the first time about the loss of Jansen and reveals how much his death affected her not only mentally but also physically.

Hayden Panettiere and family announce Jansen's cause of death at 28: “Unimaginable loss”

“He was my only brother and my younger brother and it was my job to protect him,” Panettiere told People magazine for her new cover story. “When I lost him, it felt like I lost half of my soul.”

“I remember saying to someone – and it hadn't even been a year – and I said, 'Don't expect me to ever get over losing him.' Because no matter how many years go by, he'll always be by my side.

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“This will always break my heart. I will never get over it,” said Panettiere, now 35.

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“Time heals all wounds, but time can also make you think differently, ask different questions, wonder different things and realize things you wish you had never realized,” she explained.

“Even lately, I see people making a big deal out of little things, and God bless them for wanting everything to be perfect, but when something this huge happens to you, you really learn to pick your battles and not get upset by the little things. Because once something so, so horrible, so, so profound, I mean catastrophic happens to you, there's not much that can really shake you.”

The loss of Jansen has undoubtedly devastated her. Panettiere says her grief has gone far beyond anything instinctive.

“When my little brother died, my body did something I had never seen before, which was that within a few days I just bloated. Bloated,” the actress said of her unexpected weight gain. “Stress and cortisol coursing through the body can do that. I tried everything – everything unhealthy, everything healthy – no matter what I ate, no matter what I did. My body… it was like it was protecting itself, shielding itself from the world.”

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“I saw these horrible paparazzi photos of me coming out of his funeral, which was in a very private place where we grew up. It was shocking,” she said. “I didn't recognize myself… It also brought out the agoraphobia in me. That's not something I've always struggled with.”

According to the Mayo Clinic, agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder in which one “fears and avoids places or situations that may cause panic and feelings of being trapped, helpless, or ashamed.”

“I was living in sweatpants and T-shirts and things that were swallowing me up and didn't suit me. It took me so long to find an outfit that I felt comfortable enough in to just leave the house and meet my friends,” she recalls. “And so it became this really bad, destructive hamster wheel of, 'Do I feel good enough to go out? I don't feel confident enough to go out, but if I don't go out and keep moving… I'll never look like this again.'”

“I was desperate. I wanted to keep working, but I didn't want to be unhappy on set. And I didn't want to go to fittings, look in the mirror and hate everything I saw about myself,” she said.

With the help of her publicist, who put her in touch with a personal trainer, Panettiere managed to turn things around.

“My body just responded, not just from the workout. I was able to release the stress and the high expectations I'd always had of myself,” she said, which helped her overcome her agoraphobia. “There's nothing better than looking in the mirror and feeling like you look good enough to walk out the door.”

Source of the original article: Hayden Panettiere suffered from agoraphobia and quickly gained weight after the sudden death of his brother