Who did the Menendez brothers marry? All about Lyle and Erik's wives

The murders of the Menendez brothers made Erik and Lyle Menendez household names – and also introduced them to their respective wives, Tammi Saccoman and Rebecca Sneed.

Erik and Lyle shot their parents, Jose and Kitty Menendez, at point blank range on August 20, 1989. After years of trials, the brothers were both sentenced to life in prison for premeditated murder. While serving their sentences, they both married.

Lyle was married to Anna Eriksson from 1996 to 2001 and then married his current wife Rebecca in 2003. Erik married his wife Tammi in 1999.

“Tammi's love has made me want to be a better person. I want to be the best husband I can be for her,” Erik told PEOPLE in 2005. “And that influences the decisions I make every day in prison. Tammi taught me how to be a good husband.”

The brothers are back in the spotlight thanks to Ryan Murphy's MONSTER: The story of Lyle and Erik MenendezThe September 2024 Netflix series follows the case, examining not only the murders but also the allegations of sexual abuse the brothers made against their father during their trials.

Here you can find out everything you need to know about Rebecca and Tammi, the wives of Lyle and Erik Menendez.

Lyle was previously married to a model

Lyle's first wife was Eriksson, a former salon receptionist who became a model. According to The sunDuring his and Erik's first trial, Eriksson wrote a letter to Lyle. He replied and the two began to correspond regularly, eventually developing a relationship.

In 1994, Eriksson moved to Los Angeles to be closer to Lyle and got a job at a record label. The couple married on July 2, 1996 – the day Lyle was sentenced to life in prison. The brothers' attorney, Leslie Abramson, and their aunt, Marta Menendez, attended the ceremony, which was conducted via speakerphone.

The couple remained together until Eriksson filed for divorce in 2001. She claimed that Lyle had been unfaithful to her and had exchanged letters with other women without her knowledge.

Lyle remarried two years after divorcing Eriksson

Rebecca Sneed and Lyle knew each other for a decade before marrying in November 2003, according to NBC News. Rebecca, a magazine journalist and editor, initially began communicating with Lyle via letters, and they became a couple after he and Eriksson separated.

Since marrying Lyle, Rebecca has been a lawyer. She lives in Sacramento, California, and visits Lyle weekly.

“Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses who are distracted by life's events,” Lyle told PEOPLE in 2017. “We try to talk on the phone every day, sometimes several times a day. I have a very stable, committed marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy. It's a counterbalance to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here.”

Rebecca, who lives privately and has not given interviews, has been on Lyle's side for more than two decades.

“People are judgmental and she has to endure a lot,” Lyle said of his wife. “But she has the courage to face the obstacles. It would be easier to leave, but I am deeply grateful that she doesn't.”

Erik and his wife Tammi began writing letters to each other in 1993

Tammi Saccoman was married to Chuck Saccoman and was living with him and her teenage daughter from a previous relationship when she began watching the brothers' trial on television in 1993. Feeling sorry for Erik, she sent him a letter in prison – with Chuck's blessing.

“I told him I was going to text Erik,” Tammi told PEOPLE. “He said I should do that. I really didn't know if Erik would text back.”

Erik previously told PEOPLE that he believes fate led him to pick out Tammi's letter from the flood of mail he receives.

“I saw Tammi's letter and I felt something. I've gotten thousands of letters, but I put this one aside. I had a feeling,” Erik previously told PEOPLE. “And I wrote her back. Tammi and I continued to correspond. I liked writing to her. It slowly developed into a friendship. It was special to me because it had nothing to do with the trial and the media. Tammi was someone who wasn't involved in all the madness.”

Erik and Tammi started dating after her husband died

In 1996, Tammi learned that her then-husband Chuck had allegedly raped their daughter since she was 15 years old. Chuck turned himself in to the police and committed suicide two days later. When he died, Tammi and Chuck had a daughter together, Talia, who was nine months old at the time.

“I reached out to Erik. He comforted me; our letters took on a more serious tone,” she recalls to PEOPLE.

Erik and Tammi met for the first time four years after they started communicating

After Erik was convicted of first-degree murder, he invited Tammi – who was dating a doctor at the time – to visit him in Folsom State Prison. They met for the first time in August 1997.

Tammi told PEOPLE she was “really nervous” to meet Erik and that he didn't even know what she looked like.

“I had only given him a tiny, 1-by-1 [inch] picture,” Tammi recalled. “But when he walked into the room, he was so full of life that he skipped down the stairs. It was like meeting an old friend.”

Erik said the first meeting with Tammi was the “most beautiful experience of the [his] Life.”

Tammi and Erik married about a year after they met

Tammi planned to use her inheritance from Chuck's death to move to Georgia and start a new life with Talia, but changed her plans after meeting and falling in love with Erik. She moved to Sacramento to be closer to him and visited him four times a week.

In 1998, Erik proposed to Tammi and they were married in Folsom Prison with a Twinkie as their wedding cake. After he was transferred to Pleasant Valley State Prison, she and Talia traveled nearly 150 miles each week to visit him.

Tammi said that many of her friends were repulsed by her and Erik's relationship and that the other kids at school never bullied Talia about it, but Tammi thought that perhaps her parents kept their distance because of her notorious husband.

“Every time a parent told me, 'No, my daughter can't stay at your house,' I wondered if it was because of Erik,” Tammi admitted. “That question is constantly on my mind.”

Erik called Tammi a “lifesaver”

When asked if she was “troubled” by Erik's murder of his parents, Tammi told NBC News in 2005 that she was, but that she did not believe her husband was beyond redemption.

“I know his soul and I know what happened that night,” she said. “And I understand it. I believe that anyone in certain circumstances is capable of killing someone. I mean, I believe that Erik is a very good person.”

That same year, Erik told PEOPLE that Tammi had been a lifesaver for him.

“Tammi's love was an important step in my life decision,” he said. “Having someone who loves you unconditionally, someone you can be completely open with, is good for anyone – knowing that this person loves me for who I am.”

Spousal visits are not permitted

Although Lyle and Erik are both married, neither of them has consummated the marriage because conjugal visits are prohibited for prisoners serving life sentences in California.

Lyle doesn't mind it much. He explained to ABC News in 2017, “One thing I've learned is that your physical well-being is much less important than your connection to the people around you. I've found that I can have a healthy marriage that is complicated and built on conversations and finding creative ways to communicate and share without all the props that are usually present in a marriage, like going out to dinner and spending so much intimate time together and so on.”

Tammi is also largely unfazed by this, telling PEOPLE in 2005: “Not having sex in my life is difficult, but for me it's not a problem. I have to be physically distant and I'm emotionally attached to Erik.”

Erik himself is not happy about the lack of physical contact, but says that this is part of what makes the relationship work.

“You're not looking for sex, you're looking for an emotional connection,” he said, adding: “There's no make-up sex, just a 15-minute phone call. So you really have to make an effort to make it work.”