Eric Roberts reflects on his role as Emma Roberts' father

Eric Roberts loves being Emma Roberts' father, but admits he was ill-equipped to raise their daughter after splitting from her mother.

“I left Kelly when Emma was just seven months old,” Roberts wrote in his new memoir about his ex-partner Kelly Cunningham and his daughter Emma Roberts Runaway Train: Or the story of my life so far“We have been through a lot, and [Kelly] She saw me at my worst – and yet she stayed for a while, although I'm sure she wondered if she should. We both wanted a child – maybe I wanted it more than she did – but we both wanted to be parents.”

The Star 80 The actor recalled the excitement of being a new father. “The pregnancy was very exciting,” he wrote. “I fell madly in love with Emma from the first moment I saw her. We even tried to induce labor so she would go into labor exactly on her due date. It was a natural birth. I sang 'Happy Birthday' to her belly many times. When Emma finally came into the world, she was not completely calm and composed, but when I started singing 'Happy Birthday' to her, she must have recognized my voice because she calmed down immediately.”

Despite his enthusiasm for fatherhood, Roberts believed he was not perfectly suited to the role of parent. “I loved my little girl with the strength of Hercules, despite my own weaknesses,” he wrote. “However, I could not bear the realities of an infant entering my life, and I could not bear to be a parent! I am still not a father figure. Emma, ​​on the other hand, knows exactly what that role is – she is now an adult and a mother herself. She is that person for her first child, Rhodes.”

Roberts attributed his inability to be a father to drugs. “The worst consequence of my drug use was losing Emma,” he wrote. “I was still completely coked up when she was born, which explains everything.”

The actor also set the record straight regarding custody of Emma, ​​and how his sister Julia Roberts was involved in his split from Cunningham. “The question has been open for ages, it seems, whether Julia and I had a huge custody battle over Emma. I want to settle this once and for all,” he wrote. “I have never seen myself as someone who deserves custody of Emma, ​​not in a million years. We both knew better. Kelly never claimed that I was trying to get custody of Emma, ​​so Julia never sided with Kelly in a custody battle. There really was no custody battle. I'm very happy to be able to settle this now.”

Roberts said his sister helped the ex-couple financially when they split. “When Kelly and I split up, we had to sort out child support and visitation,” he wrote. “The legal fees were incredibly high and I paid Kelly's lawyer and my own as much as I could. Thankfully, Julia helped out for Emma's sake and because she could afford it. I really appreciated that.”

The actor said Julia and his other sister, Lisa Roberts Gillan, wanted him to pull himself together to support his partner and daughter. “Of course Julia and Lisa were upset that I couldn't keep our little family of three together, that Kelly, Emma and I couldn't make it as a family,” he wrote. “My sisters hoped that maybe having fathered a child I loved with the woman I was with would calm me down and make me more stable as a person. Unfortunately, stability has to come first. It's not a child's job to give you stability.”

Roberts does not see the situation as a breach of loyalty. “Julia and Lisa were on Emma's side and her well-being – but so were Kelly and I,” he says. “The difference is that I just couldn't raise Emma on my own. For a while we were a nice little family, but that didn't last long. I had too many problems.”

The actor also said he is not worried about his daughter's ability to survive as an actress in Hollywood. “I am often asked if I am worried about my daughter being in this acting business,” he wrote. “I love this business. I obviously didn't realize how much it wears you down, but Emma is much stronger than I was at that age and time. She has more tools at her disposal to build a safe place around herself than I ever did.”

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Roberts recognized that his sister and daughter had overshadowed his own fame. “I am very proud of Emma and Julia and what they have achieved,” he wrote. “I imagine I will remain Julia's brother and Emma Roberts's father for the rest of my life. I want to make amends and step aside with pride and dignity. That is one of the reasons I wrote this book.”

Earlier this year, Roberts said Still here, Hollywood He was asked not to talk about his sister and daughter. “I love my sister, but I can't talk about her. She doesn't want to talk about it,” he said. “My daughter also told me not to talk about her, but I stumble and do it.” He later said, “I shouldn't talk about either of them. But I do.”

In the book, however, Roberts said his daughter allows him to interact with her on social media. “Emma has given us permission to interact with her a little on her Instagram page,” he wrote. “It's always good to ask, because we are engaging in a very public way. That's as far as private lives often come in this topsy-turvy, misguided world that is so dominated by social media.”

Roberts' memoirs Runaway Train: Or the story of my life so far is available now.