Ellen DeGeneres' Netflix special is an incoherent meta-artwork

“When you’re a public figure,” Ellen DeGeneres sighed in “For Your Approval,” her new Netflix special, “you’re open to everyone’s interpretation.” The comedian thought about the radical and somewhat wild reInterpretation of her image after BuzzFeed published allegations of “racism, fear and intimidation” on the set of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” in 2020. She went from being a lover (or is that pronounced “belove-ED”?, she repeatedly asks) to arguably the “most hated person in America.”

Between long and amusing passages about how odd it is that magicians are asked to entertain dementia patients in nursing homes, DeGeneres spends a lot of time processing her newfound fame in what she calls her “farewell performance.” The result is a somewhat disjointed, confusing work of meta-art. Still, “For Your Approval” raises legitimate questions about the intersection of celebrity, gender, mental health, and starving Twitter mobs.

Questions like: How does an artist really feel when they are canceled? Is Ellen really sorry for what she allegedly did to others? Or does she simply wish Americans would be less sexist, less naive towards their idols and finally grow up?

Having been canceled twice—once in connection with her show Ellen and once in connection with the flesh-and-blood Ellen DeGeneres—she clearly has a perspective she wants to share. Her first cancellation came after she came out on her sitcom in 1997 (and shortly before that in real life). She saw her show promptly receive a parental warning and then get canceled. When Oprah Winfrey interviewed her about her coming out, death threats and bomb threats followed. Americans need to grow the hell up.

In 2003, she experienced a huge resurgence with the launch of The Ellen DeGeneres Show. During her 19-year run, the seemingly cheerful host basked in fame, good cheer, good ratings, great wealth, and the love of a large and loyal fan base who supported her as she playfully played pranks on her beautiful guests, danced with her cheerful audience, and urged her followers to be kind.

She was, as she explained in her pre-sin 2018 special, “Relatable,” the “friendly girl.” Everyone loved her and believed that stage Ellen and real Ellen were one and the same person. During her mammograms, she joked, fans would come over and ask her if she could dance for them.

Then came three stories that prompted her second cancellation. There was a 2018 New York Times profile aptly titled “Ellen DeGeneres isn't as nice as you think.” Next came a 2019 interview with Dakota Johnson about DeGeneres skipping Johnson's birthday party. Then came the 2020 BuzzFeed expose accusing her of creating a toxic work culture. That ripped her image to shreds. Suddenly, the “kind girl” was reinterpreted.

The accusations were numerous: she had insulted her staff (especially her black employees), guests, celebrities, waiters, etc. The Dakota Johnson controversy brought to light that Ellen, who was practically part of the LGBTQ elite, had skipped Johnson's birthday party to hang out with former President George W. Bush, who was so adamantly opposed to same-sex marriage.

The internet, that instrument of swift vigilantism, smelled blood and set about reinterpreting Ellen's story. Remember that time she made Taylor Swift cry? Or that time she mocked Sofia Vegara's English? And what about calling Johnson out for her short skirt? Previous rumors and blind items were recontextualized, and not in a way that put Ellen in a good light.

DeGeneres processes that pain a lot in For Your Approval. Except when she doesn't. There are standalone scenes that have nothing to do with her ordeal. She talks about how she rescued a drenched dog that didn't need rescuing. More specifically, she kidnapped someone's pet who was just minding his own business after a bath.

How this observational footage relates to the rest of the set isn't entirely clear. What is clear is that DeGeneres is thinking deeply about her ordeal. She's going to therapy to cope with the hate. She's stopped taking Botox and fillers. She feels judged when she eats out. She works in the garden to pass the time.

Towards the end of a performance that subtly reminds us that it is not easy being a woman in the entertainment industry, especially a lesbian woman, the audience gives her a thunderous and sustained round of applause when she asserts, “I am a strong woman.”

Yet even after that moment of jubilation and apparent resolution, DeGeneres returns to the pain she can't shake. “I spent my whole life,” she sighs as her audience sits back down, “making people happy, and I cared too much about what other people thought of me. The thought of anyone thinking I was mean was devastating to me.” Caring too much about what people think is exactly what's ruining her mental health, she says. So she's done with it! Done (thunderous applause)!

Then she snaps back: “But if I'm honest… and I have a choice whether people want to remember me as someone who is mean or as someone who is loved. Loved?… That's what I would choose” (more thunderous applause).

She doesn't care what people think. Unless she does Her contempt causes enormous pain. But no, she doesn't. She's put all that behind her. But she's clearly not. All this emotional back and forth may be contradictory, but that's what makes it authentic.

It also warns Twitter mobs to bully smarter. Not that such a correction could ever happen. So maybe the right correction for fans and haters alike would be to never become part of a Twitter mob? It's time to grow up.

“I used to care,” she explains, “what people thought of me, but I said that at the height of my popularity.” Now that she's older, she's more thoughtful. Of course, being more thoughtful doesn't necessarily solve a dilemma; it just makes the dilemma clearer. In this case, the dilemma is that criticism hurts her. She always will, even if she wishes it weren't. Clarification is the solution.