Tabitha Brown is eliminating the stigma against bladder leaks

Bladder leak, amirite? All it takes is a quiet laugh, a heavy sneeze, or your mere existence to gradually make your underwear lining damp. It's an embarrassing occurrence that most don't like to admit, but to be honest, urinary incontinence is pretty common. According to ClevelandClinic.org, “Urinary incontinence is a loss of bladder control that commonly occurs in older adults and postpartum or menopausal women. Other causes include urinary tract infections (UTIs), pelvic floor problems, and an enlarged prostate.”

If you've had a child, are nearing 40, or are in perimenopause, chances are you've experienced bladder leakage a time or two. And while many feel embarrassed at the thought of pee slips, Emmy Award-winning actress and NY Times bestselling author Tabitha Brown is using her platform to eliminate the stigma behind it. “The first time it happened to me was a sneeze and I was like, 'Wait, what just happened?'” she tells me in an exclusive interview with HelloBeautiful.

Tabitha Brown is eliminating the stigma against bladder leaks

“Listen, after the kids it’s even worse. Mine started back then, in my 30s, after I had my son. But in your forties your body is like that, you're on your own, girl. We all try to do our best,” she says with a laugh.

Before doing this interview, I had to determine whether I was ready to admit that I, too, struggled with bladder leaks. I turn 41 this year and have noticed a drastic change in my body since then. In addition to the frequent trips to the toilet, there is also the excessive sweating and the annoying bladder leaks, which make me always pack a panty liner in my bag for safety reasons. These are the things people don't tell you about getting older, but Brown is advocating for it and using her platform to educate women who struggle with bladder leaks and let them know that it's a normal part of the aging process.

“The solution is, first and foremost, to start the conversation so that more women talk about it, don't feel alone in it, and know that we have options,” she tells me. “Always Discreet offers two options. If you want to wear the full briefs – I don't know if that's your comfort level – but they have that option. My comfort level is the padding. You know how we sometimes get a panty liner? But this one is a little thicker and doesn't leak. It's comfortable. There is no strange feeling or smell,” she says.

“And now when I have a cold and have a coughing fit. You know you're going to pee on yourself. I don't worry about it when I have this on. From working out to going to the gym to doing things I couldn't do before without a bladder leak like running or weight squats and so on. Now we have an option and we don't have to worry about it. We don't have to have this fear in the back of our minds. “Oh wait, what if I peel? What if I ring, oh Lord.'”

Admittedly, bladder leaks sometimes dictate how I show up in the world. There's so much to think about knowing that a fit of laughter can lead to juicy drawers. Everyday life is clouded by the fear of possible accidents, and no one has time for that!

“We should not allow our laughter to not be full of joy. So once you've thrown your “Always Discreet,” you can laugh without thinking about it. I realized I was spending too much time thinking about, “Where am I going?” What am I going to wear? Who will be there? How much laughter is allowed or not? Do I have to walk extra long? I think about all these things based on bladder leaks,” Brown says.

“It keeps us from our joy. We must return to the center of our joy, the joy of life. And if something as simple as putting on an Always Discreet can do that for you, then do it so we can continue to live normal, joyful lives. We deserve that. We are worth it,” she continues.

Tabitha Brown shares her experiences with perimenopause

Brown, 45, has spoken candidly about her experience with perimenopause, which is defined as the approach to menopause when your ovaries gradually stop working. It can start in your 30s, but most women start it between the ages of 40 and 44. As your ovaries prepare to close, the body goes through natural changes that feel like punishment to the uterus.

“It (perimenopause) comes without notice, right? “She doesn’t let you know she’s arrived,” she jokes. “This includes frequent urination, going to the toilet for hours at night, even during the day when I'm on the plane it's like I'm constantly going to the toilet. Hot flashes or night sweats were part of it. Even your skin changes. So many things. Your sleep pattern changes. You wake up in the middle of the night and ask yourself: Why am I awake? I slept great. And then you just wake up for no reason. It just happens,” she explains.

“But your body changes as you go through perimenopause and prepare for menopause. And a lot of women don't talk about it, but I do. I like having all the uncomfortable conversations to let women know, “Girls, we don't have to be ashamed.” We don't have to be uncomfortable. “We’re in this together,” she continues.

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